HUMOR PICS | Humor-Pics.com - Simply the Best Clean Humor Site

Humor-Pics.com - Simply the Best Clean Humor Site

Hilarious Jokes

Identifying Cars Jim was annoyed when his blonde wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a fender, and that she hadn't gotten the license number. "What kind of car was he driving?" he asked. ... 1 2 3 4 5	School Teacher A traveling salesman finds himself stranded in the tiniest town in Ireland. He knocks on the door of a little hotel. "Sorry, we don't have a spare room," says the manager, "but you're welcome ... 1 2 3 4 5
Ways To Annoy Your Waiter 10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip. 9. Ask, "Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?" 8. After he describes each special, you shout, "Garbage!" 7. Whenever ... 1 2 3 4 5	X(mas) Files Episode Mulder: We're too late. It's already been here. Scully: Mulder, I hope you know what you are doing. Mulder: Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed ... 1 2 3 4 5
F.B.I. Phone Logs The following is a direct quote from the Center for Strategic and International Studies report on GLOBAL ORGANIZED CRIME. FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that ... 1 2 3 4 5	Return Photo Andrea was telling me about her brother, when he was a soldier serving overseas, how when he was far from home and was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking ... 1 2 3 4 5
What About My Dog? A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town, which he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote, "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well groomed and very ... 1 2 3 4 5	Two Cows A farmer had a brown cow and a white cow, and he wanted to get them bred, so he borrowed his neighbor's bull and turned it loose in the pasture. He told his son to watch and tell him when the ... 1 2 3 4 5
Signs You Are Webbed Out Signs You Are "Webbed Out" From Using The Web: Your opening line is, "So what's your home page address? Your best friend is someone you've never met. You see a beautiful sunset and you ... 1 2 3 4 5	Touring A New Saw Mill Two Newfies landed themselves a job at a saw mill. Just before morning the one yelled, "Mick! I lost me finger!" "Have you now?" says Mick. "And how did you do it?" "I just touched this ... 1 2 3 4 5
Sneaky Wife A wife suspected that her husband was having an affair with the maid. She thought of a plan to take him by surprise. One Friday she told the maid to take the day off and that night she went into the ... 1 2 3 4 5	Preacher, Peanuts, Recluse One day a preacher goes to visit an elderly lady. As he is sitting there talking with her, he notices a bowl of peanuts sitting on the table in front of him. "Do you mind if I have a few peanuts?" he ... 1 2 3 4 5
In The Desert There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead traveling through the desert when their car suddenly stalls. They all get out of the car and, upon realizing that it's not going to start, they each take ... 1 2 3 4 5	Polish Sausage A man goes into a store and tells the clerk, "I'd like some Polish sausage." The clerk looks at him and says, "You must be Polish" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Well, yes I am. But ... 1 2 3 4 5
Parrot Talk One day a guy walked into a pet store to buy a parrot. He found one that he liked and went up to the counter to buy it. The store clerk saw which parrot he had picked out and said, ''That parrot ... 1 2 3 4 5	Mental Deficiency A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and? his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she? asked, ... 1 2 3 4 5
Nuns At A Baseball Game Sitting behind a couple of nuns at a baseball game, three men were annoyed because the nuns' habits partially blocked their view. They decided to badger the nuns in an effort to get them to move. In ... 1 2 3 4 5	Married Couple A married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor. The husband asks "I notice you've been watching that man for some ... 1 2 3 4 5
Doable Resolutions NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS YOU CAN KEEP Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some ... 1 2 3 4 5	Lazy Husband The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. The doctor started a long and thorough examination, but finally found nothing wrong with the man. ... 1 2 3 4 5