Hilarious Jokes
While practicing auto-rotations during a military |
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. |
An Irish guy goes into a bar in America and asks for three separate shots of Whiskey. He drinks one, waits a little bit, then drinks the second one, waits a little bit more, and then drinks the third ... |
A nun was traveling to Chicago by air. She sat down at the gate waiting for her flight. She looked over in the corner and saw a weight machine that tells your weight and fortune. She thought to herself, ... |
Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!" The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "It?s my nut!" |
These four guys were walking down the street, a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker. |
When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place? |
Be careful what you wear (or don't wear), when working under your vehicle...especially in public. |
An old man, walking along the beach, approached a beautiful girl in a bikini and abruptly said to her, "I want to feel your breasts!" Get away from me, you crazy old man" she scowled. "I want to feel ... |
The reception had ended and the newlyweds had just sneaked off to the honeymoon resort. After supper and champagne, the groom retired to the bedroom. But Julie pulled a chair up to the balcony doors ... |
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the New South African edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside South Africa. If you have one of the New South African editions ... |
A guy walks into a bar ... once inside, he realizes it's a gay bar, but he decides, 'What the heck, I really want a drink.' So he sits down at the bar, and the gay bartender says to him, 'What's the ... |
A very rich man had his pool filled with pirahnas. Later on that day he threw a party, and invited anyone who wanted to attend. |
Stress Reliever # 1 |
You have just received the Amish virus. Because we don't have any computers or programming experience, this virus works on the honor system. Please delete all the files from your hard drive and manually ... |
A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. |
Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given the last rites, the formal speech had been given ... |
A man walks into a bar. He sees a good looking, smartly dressed woman perched on a bar stool. He walks up behind her and says: "Hi there good looking, how's it going?" |
Believe it or not, the following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins. |
1. "I'm gonna kill her" |
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